I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize