You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just gift wrapped bread.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
