hell yes lets make some ravioli
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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