We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
