I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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