Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
