So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
