"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My breath smells like gin and sadness
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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