TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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