Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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