Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
