yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
