You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
