so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize
