I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
