You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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