A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
