seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
