Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
