His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
