I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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