I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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