Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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