dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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