If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
