the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
