Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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