your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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