do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
