i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
