so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
