she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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