Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm having to shit out rocks
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
