dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
