'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize