it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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