I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
