That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
