Got a toothbrush?
if you like me you must not know who I am
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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