no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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