:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize