Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
