Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize