Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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