my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She's the barista slut.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
