ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
