butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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