eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
These tits shall not be calmed
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
