Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
