What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
