you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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