What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
