I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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