She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
