We won't sleep together?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
