chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We have so much sex to catch up on
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
