your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
