Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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