too bad you live with your parents still
it hurts more in the daytime
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
