I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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