just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize