So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
