This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
