so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize