i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
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