Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
